Being Asexual in a Hypersexualized World

content: lengthy discussion of sex

Let's face it, we live in a world that's obsessed with sex.  We hear about it all the time, in books, movies, TV, etc.  We hear jokes about sex and we hear sexual innuendo.

But being a homoromantic asexual, I don't find it to be appealing at all.  I mean, what's the big deal about sex?  It may feel good to some, but if you experience little or no sexual attraction, you don't really get the humor, so you might feel like you're out of the loop (at least, that's how I feel.)

When I was a teenager and when I was in my early 20s, it seemed like all that people around me were talking about was sex.  I tried to join in their conversations and laugh at their jokes, but to be honest, it always made me uncomfortable.  I've never liked the idea of being sexually intimate with anyone.

This doesn't mean that I don't want to be loved, however.  I'm romantically attracted to women, not sexually.  I find them aesthetically and romantically attractive, but I don't want t have sex with them.  Sexual, romantic and aesthetic attraction are all different.

I want to meet other women, but I'm kind of leery of bars and other places like that because those are usually hookup spots, and I don't want to have sex with anyone.

Maybe it's also because I'm Autistic and was raised in a very Christian household, but I cherish the idea of romance without the sex.  I also understand that there also asexual and aromantic people, meaning that they're not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, which is fine too.

It's tough being asexual in a hypersexualized world, but I know that God will find the right person for me.  I just have to have faith and persevere.

Okay, rambling over.  Later gators!

An Open Letter to the Governors of North Carolina and Mississippi

To Governors Pat McCrory and Phil Bryant,

My name is Kristy Young, and I am a Black, Autistic lesbian from Maryland.  I am writing this letter because I want to tell you how I feel about the "religious freedom" laws you have passed in your states.

First of all, Gov. Phil Bryant, denying an LGBTQ person service based on your religious beliefs is wrong because not everyone has the same beliefs and views, so if you refuse service to a person because of this, you are basically saying that your views are right and the other person's views are wrong and therefore that person should not be given the same liberties and rights as you should, which is unfair.

Also, Gov. Bryant, this country was founded on the basis of religious freedom, but you are taking it too far.  Religious freedom means being able to worship, or to not worship, in any way you want to.  It does not mean that you get to deny service to a person because of your beliefs.

People have used the "religious freedom" excuse to deny rights to women, Black people, disabled people and other marginalized groups, but they are wrong because the Bible says to treat others the way you would want to be treated, to help the poor and the widowed and to love your neighbor as yourself.

Gov. Pat McCrory, transgender people already face enough difficulties from society.  Please do not add any more.  By signing HB2 into law, you have only made life more difficult for them by restricting their right to use the bathroom they feel most comfortable using.  What is a person supposed to do if they need to use the restroom?  Hold it until they get home?  That would be unhealthy and would strip the person of their dignity.  Transgender women are real women, and transgender men are real men, and there are people who identify as neither gender or both genders as well, so this law would really affect these people too.

Also, Gov. McCrory, banning protections for LGBTQ people is not right because as a whole, LGBTQ people already face a lot of prejudice and bigotry from other people, so we need protections to ensure that we are given the same freedoms and rights as straight, cisgender people.

Furthermore, being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning is not a disorder, a choice or a sin.  It is simply how some people are.  Nobody knows why some people are LGBTQ, but nevertheless, it is wrong to discriminate against somebody because they are different from you.


I hope you take all this into consideration and repeal these laws.

Sincerely,

Kristy Young

Autism Acceptance Month

content warning: Autism Speaks, early intervention, ABA, some swearing

Today is April 1st, which means it's the beginning of Autism Acceptance month, but to many it's known as Autism Awareness month.  I'd like to change that.  Here's why:

Most of the "awareness" that is spread around is dehumanizing, pity-inducing, hateful rhetoric that Autism Speaks and other pro-cure organizations perpetuate.  They see us as tragedies, broken, missing and lesser than neurotypical people.  The reason why they portray us like this is because they want to make profits from other people.  They don't really care about autistics.

Acceptance, on the other hand, means seeing others as equals, and embracing their autistic traits.  This means allowing an autistic person to stim (that is, allowing them to jump, rock heir bodies, flap their hands or anything else that comes naturally to them.), not forcing them to make eye contact (it's very hard for many autistics to make eye contact with others when tallking to them because we have to process auditory and visual stimuli at the same time, which is difficult), and actually listening to an autistic person when they're trying to communicate with you.

When a child is diagnosed with autism at a young age, one of the first things doctors suggests is early intervention.  Early intervention often involves "therapies" designed to make autistics indistinguishable from their neurotypical peers.  These "therapies" are known as applied behavioral analysis, or ABA, and they're very harmful because they not only use exhausting and stressful tactics (such as forcing a child to make eye contact, or they won't get to play with their favorite toy), but they teach the child that their God-given neurology is "bad", and the child begins to feel that way, and as a result, may develop low-self esteem, anxiety and even PTSD from all the stress.

I am speaking this from experience.  I was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old and I was placed in early intervention.  I was placed in special education all my life, from preschool all the way through 12th grade, and I've had some shitty things done to me there.  I developed low self-esteem, and PTSD as a result, but God helped me get through it, and now I'm speaking out so people will be more accepting of autistics.

If you truly want to support autistics, wear red to show your support.  Don't light it up blue!  Blue is the color of Autism Speaks, which supports early intervention and ABA.

Support organizations that truly have autistics' best interests at heart, like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network.  They are run by and for autistics, so you know that they are good advocates for the autistic community.

Also, the Autism Women's Network is a good choice because they are majority autistic-led as well, and they help autistic women and girls.

Nothing About Us Without Us!