content/trigger warning: gun violence, anti-LGBTQ bigotry, Islamophobia
Early this morning, a shooting took place at Pulse nightclub, a gay club in Orlando, Florida. fifty people were killed and fifty-three others were wounded in the shooting. The shooter pledged to ISIS before the shooting. Apparently, he had something against LGBTQ people - he was disgusted after seeing a same-sex couple kissing.
My heart aches right now. It seems as if the anti-LGBTQ sentiment is only growing stronger - numerous anti-LGBTQ bills have been introduced into legislation - many have already passed. Violence against LGBTQ people - especially transgender women of color - is on the rise. and many faiths are speaking out against the queer community. We need to stand strong and let them know that we're not going to tolerate this.
The Bible says, "Love your neighbor as yourself." But that's not what we're doing. There's too much hate in the world. We need more love.
Love. That's the whole story.
If only Jesus came back to comfort us. Then everything would be all better.
Keep in mind that the religion of Islam is not to blame for this horrendous act of violence. There are good and bad people of all kinds of faiths. So it's unfair to single out just one religion for their actions.
That's all I have to say for now. Stay strong, stay in prayer and keep your head up.
Goodbye!
Monday, June 13, 2016
Monday, June 6, 2016
Why Proper Trans Health Care Is Crucial
content/trigger warning: transphobia/discrimination, police brutality
I'm an agender person. That means I don't identify with any gender. Shouldn't be a big deal, right? Well, to many people, it is.
My therapist doesn't believe there's such a thing as agender - she believes that there are only two genders: male and female. She also said that I have "sexual identity disorder". It made me feel invalidated, like my gender wasn't real.
Unfortunately, my situation's not unique. Many trans and gender nonconforming people have had to jump through hoops to get the proper health care they need. Just check out the Twitter hashtag #TransHealthFail. You'll see what I'm talking about.
It's crucial for transgender people to get the health care they need because it's vital for their well-being.
Kayden Clarke was an Autistic trans man who had a service dog and was often seen with him on his videos. Kayden wanted to start hormone replacement therapy - testosterone - but his therapist told him he couldn't start HRT until his Autism was "fixed".
That statement sent Kayden into an emotional tailspin. In one of his Youtube videos, he talked about how Arizona, his home state, had one of the worst mental health systems in the country.
One day Kayden was having a crisis, so a relative called the police to check on him. The police say that Kayden brandished them with a knife, so they shot him and killed him.
While covering the story of Kayden's death, various media outlets misgendered and deadnamed him. This is bad because the rest of the country will know who he really was - a young man with a big heart.
To prevent other tragedies like Kayden's, we have to make sure trans and gender variant people are getting the proper healthcare. It is critical to our safety and well-being.
I'm an agender person. That means I don't identify with any gender. Shouldn't be a big deal, right? Well, to many people, it is.
My therapist doesn't believe there's such a thing as agender - she believes that there are only two genders: male and female. She also said that I have "sexual identity disorder". It made me feel invalidated, like my gender wasn't real.
Unfortunately, my situation's not unique. Many trans and gender nonconforming people have had to jump through hoops to get the proper health care they need. Just check out the Twitter hashtag #TransHealthFail. You'll see what I'm talking about.
It's crucial for transgender people to get the health care they need because it's vital for their well-being.
Kayden Clarke was an Autistic trans man who had a service dog and was often seen with him on his videos. Kayden wanted to start hormone replacement therapy - testosterone - but his therapist told him he couldn't start HRT until his Autism was "fixed".
That statement sent Kayden into an emotional tailspin. In one of his Youtube videos, he talked about how Arizona, his home state, had one of the worst mental health systems in the country.
One day Kayden was having a crisis, so a relative called the police to check on him. The police say that Kayden brandished them with a knife, so they shot him and killed him.
While covering the story of Kayden's death, various media outlets misgendered and deadnamed him. This is bad because the rest of the country will know who he really was - a young man with a big heart.
To prevent other tragedies like Kayden's, we have to make sure trans and gender variant people are getting the proper healthcare. It is critical to our safety and well-being.
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
10 Things Not to Say to a Genderqueer/Nonbinary Person
content/trigger warning: really disparaging remarks and other things that shouldn't be said.
If you're nonbinary or genderqueer, chances are you've heard binary people say some shitty things to you about your gender. Here are some common remarks that nonbinary people often hear:
1. "Your gender isn't real/your gender is bullshit."
How would you feel if I told you that your gender wasn't real or was bullshit? Pretty lousy, right? Well, when you tell a nonbinary person that their gender isn't real, it invalidates their feelings and their experiences. I don't knock you for your gender, so don't knock me for mine.
2. "What bathroom do you use?"
That's a very personal question. Some of us feel comfortable using gendered restrooms, others feel more comfortable using gender-neutral restrooms, especially if we don't "pass" as any gender. Bottom line: don't ask us this question because it's very rude.
3. "What's in your pants?"
Magic! Just kidding! But seriously, it's just plain rude to ask a person what genitals they have because they're private parts. You don't need to know what my nether regions are, OK?
4. "When are you gonna really transition?"
Not all nonbinary people take hormones or undergo surgery to transition. Some people are happy without those things. Some people don't even change their name or pronouns, and that's OK. Trans people should be allowed to transition in any way they please.
5. "But the Bible says..."
Yes, God created male and female people, ("So God created in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27 NIV), but He also created intersex and nonbinary individuals as well. And besides, when God sent His son Jesus Christ to die for our sins, we have all been redeemed. ("There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28, NIV). OK, I'm a Christian, so naturally I'm gonna quote Scripture, but the Bible does not condemn trans individuals. Plain and simple.
6. "You can like this/wear that and still be a boy/girl."
Gender expression is different from gender identity. Gender expression is how one expresses their idea of being a boy, girl or nonbinary. Gender identity is how a person feels about their gender. If a person tells you that they're a particular gender, then they are that gender. Please don't dismiss that person's feelings.
7. "Why can't you just be gay?"
Being gay (or bi) and being trans are two totally different things. Sexuality is who you want to go to bed with. Gender identity is who you want to go to bed as. Some trans people are gay, bi or asexual. Others aren't. Make sense?
8. "It's just a phase."
Argh...just ARGH! Being genderqueer or nonbinary is not a phase, for Pete's sake! It's simply how some people are. Is being cis "just a phase"? Of course not! So don't tell me my gender is just a phase, we clear?
9. "Just pick one, already!"
I can't choose either boy or girl because I don't identify as either one. I'm agender - please respect that.
10. "'They' isn't a pronoun."
Um, yes, it is. Just because you don't think they/them/their is a valid pronoun doesn't mean it is invalid. My pronouns are they/them/their. Please respect them.
If you're nonbinary or genderqueer, chances are you've heard binary people say some shitty things to you about your gender. Here are some common remarks that nonbinary people often hear:
1. "Your gender isn't real/your gender is bullshit."
How would you feel if I told you that your gender wasn't real or was bullshit? Pretty lousy, right? Well, when you tell a nonbinary person that their gender isn't real, it invalidates their feelings and their experiences. I don't knock you for your gender, so don't knock me for mine.
2. "What bathroom do you use?"
That's a very personal question. Some of us feel comfortable using gendered restrooms, others feel more comfortable using gender-neutral restrooms, especially if we don't "pass" as any gender. Bottom line: don't ask us this question because it's very rude.
3. "What's in your pants?"
Magic! Just kidding! But seriously, it's just plain rude to ask a person what genitals they have because they're private parts. You don't need to know what my nether regions are, OK?
4. "When are you gonna really transition?"
Not all nonbinary people take hormones or undergo surgery to transition. Some people are happy without those things. Some people don't even change their name or pronouns, and that's OK. Trans people should be allowed to transition in any way they please.
5. "But the Bible says..."
Yes, God created male and female people, ("So God created in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them." - Genesis 1:27 NIV), but He also created intersex and nonbinary individuals as well. And besides, when God sent His son Jesus Christ to die for our sins, we have all been redeemed. ("There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male or female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus." Galatians 3:28, NIV). OK, I'm a Christian, so naturally I'm gonna quote Scripture, but the Bible does not condemn trans individuals. Plain and simple.
6. "You can like this/wear that and still be a boy/girl."
Gender expression is different from gender identity. Gender expression is how one expresses their idea of being a boy, girl or nonbinary. Gender identity is how a person feels about their gender. If a person tells you that they're a particular gender, then they are that gender. Please don't dismiss that person's feelings.
7. "Why can't you just be gay?"
Being gay (or bi) and being trans are two totally different things. Sexuality is who you want to go to bed with. Gender identity is who you want to go to bed as. Some trans people are gay, bi or asexual. Others aren't. Make sense?
8. "It's just a phase."
Argh...just ARGH! Being genderqueer or nonbinary is not a phase, for Pete's sake! It's simply how some people are. Is being cis "just a phase"? Of course not! So don't tell me my gender is just a phase, we clear?
9. "Just pick one, already!"
I can't choose either boy or girl because I don't identify as either one. I'm agender - please respect that.
10. "'They' isn't a pronoun."
Um, yes, it is. Just because you don't think they/them/their is a valid pronoun doesn't mean it is invalid. My pronouns are they/them/their. Please respect them.
Saturday, May 28, 2016
I'm Not a Man or a Woman
I'm gonna cut to the chase: I'm not a man or a woman - I'm agender. Here's my story:
I always felt anxiety whenever someone called me a girl or used she/her pronouns to describe me. It just didn't feel right. But at the same time, I didn't want to be called a boy or have people use he/him/his pronouns to describe me either. I didn't know there were people who used they/them/their pronouns, so I just stuck with she/her for all these years.
I played with both Legos and Barbies as a kid, but I was especially drawn to the Barbies because of their long hair and cool fashions. There was this one time my mom bought a football, but it was for my cousin, who's a guy. I was pretty upset about it. I wanted to play with the football too.
Clothes weren't really a big deal for me until forth grade, except for the fact that I NEVER liked to wear dresses or skirts. My mom and my aunt would always say things like, "Oh, you look so cute!", but I was always like, "No, no, NO!". Dresses were just never really comfortable for me - and I don't owe anyone an explanation for that.
About fourth grade, like I said, I didn't feel pressure to be "trendy" until around that time. This girl said that my clothes were babyish, and that people were going to laugh at me. At the time, I was wearing patterned shirts, such as those with checker prints and stripes, leggings and sweaters with cat screenprints. I was already feeling like a freak, and I didn't want people to laugh at me, so shortly after the girl said that, I asked my mom to take me to JCPenney to buy me some "cooler" clothes.
When I got to high school, I wanted to wear name brand clothes like Aeropostale and Hollister, but I was such a large person, I couldn't fit into those clothes. I was crushed.
I tried so hard to fit in and be a "typical" girl that I fell into a deep depression that seemed to last forever. Honestly, what delivered me from that depression was the love and grace of my Savior Jesus Christ. Without Him, I would probably be a mess today.
I also met people who identified as nonbinary and transgender, which helped me figure out who I am. I'm agender, and my pronouns are they/them./their.
That's all for now. Have a blessed day!
I always felt anxiety whenever someone called me a girl or used she/her pronouns to describe me. It just didn't feel right. But at the same time, I didn't want to be called a boy or have people use he/him/his pronouns to describe me either. I didn't know there were people who used they/them/their pronouns, so I just stuck with she/her for all these years.
I played with both Legos and Barbies as a kid, but I was especially drawn to the Barbies because of their long hair and cool fashions. There was this one time my mom bought a football, but it was for my cousin, who's a guy. I was pretty upset about it. I wanted to play with the football too.
Clothes weren't really a big deal for me until forth grade, except for the fact that I NEVER liked to wear dresses or skirts. My mom and my aunt would always say things like, "Oh, you look so cute!", but I was always like, "No, no, NO!". Dresses were just never really comfortable for me - and I don't owe anyone an explanation for that.
About fourth grade, like I said, I didn't feel pressure to be "trendy" until around that time. This girl said that my clothes were babyish, and that people were going to laugh at me. At the time, I was wearing patterned shirts, such as those with checker prints and stripes, leggings and sweaters with cat screenprints. I was already feeling like a freak, and I didn't want people to laugh at me, so shortly after the girl said that, I asked my mom to take me to JCPenney to buy me some "cooler" clothes.
When I got to high school, I wanted to wear name brand clothes like Aeropostale and Hollister, but I was such a large person, I couldn't fit into those clothes. I was crushed.
I tried so hard to fit in and be a "typical" girl that I fell into a deep depression that seemed to last forever. Honestly, what delivered me from that depression was the love and grace of my Savior Jesus Christ. Without Him, I would probably be a mess today.
I also met people who identified as nonbinary and transgender, which helped me figure out who I am. I'm agender, and my pronouns are they/them./their.
That's all for now. Have a blessed day!
Tuesday, April 26, 2016
Being Asexual in a Hypersexualized World
content: lengthy discussion of sex
Let's face it, we live in a world that's obsessed with sex. We hear about it all the time, in books, movies, TV, etc. We hear jokes about sex and we hear sexual innuendo.
But being a homoromantic asexual, I don't find it to be appealing at all. I mean, what's the big deal about sex? It may feel good to some, but if you experience little or no sexual attraction, you don't really get the humor, so you might feel like you're out of the loop (at least, that's how I feel.)
When I was a teenager and when I was in my early 20s, it seemed like all that people around me were talking about was sex. I tried to join in their conversations and laugh at their jokes, but to be honest, it always made me uncomfortable. I've never liked the idea of being sexually intimate with anyone.
This doesn't mean that I don't want to be loved, however. I'm romantically attracted to women, not sexually. I find them aesthetically and romantically attractive, but I don't want t have sex with them. Sexual, romantic and aesthetic attraction are all different.
I want to meet other women, but I'm kind of leery of bars and other places like that because those are usually hookup spots, and I don't want to have sex with anyone.
Maybe it's also because I'm Autistic and was raised in a very Christian household, but I cherish the idea of romance without the sex. I also understand that there also asexual and aromantic people, meaning that they're not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, which is fine too.
It's tough being asexual in a hypersexualized world, but I know that God will find the right person for me. I just have to have faith and persevere.
Okay, rambling over. Later gators!
Let's face it, we live in a world that's obsessed with sex. We hear about it all the time, in books, movies, TV, etc. We hear jokes about sex and we hear sexual innuendo.
But being a homoromantic asexual, I don't find it to be appealing at all. I mean, what's the big deal about sex? It may feel good to some, but if you experience little or no sexual attraction, you don't really get the humor, so you might feel like you're out of the loop (at least, that's how I feel.)
When I was a teenager and when I was in my early 20s, it seemed like all that people around me were talking about was sex. I tried to join in their conversations and laugh at their jokes, but to be honest, it always made me uncomfortable. I've never liked the idea of being sexually intimate with anyone.
This doesn't mean that I don't want to be loved, however. I'm romantically attracted to women, not sexually. I find them aesthetically and romantically attractive, but I don't want t have sex with them. Sexual, romantic and aesthetic attraction are all different.
I want to meet other women, but I'm kind of leery of bars and other places like that because those are usually hookup spots, and I don't want to have sex with anyone.
Maybe it's also because I'm Autistic and was raised in a very Christian household, but I cherish the idea of romance without the sex. I also understand that there also asexual and aromantic people, meaning that they're not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone, which is fine too.
It's tough being asexual in a hypersexualized world, but I know that God will find the right person for me. I just have to have faith and persevere.
Okay, rambling over. Later gators!
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
An Open Letter to the Governors of North Carolina and Mississippi
To Governors Pat McCrory and Phil Bryant,
My name is Kristy Young, and I am a Black, Autistic lesbian from Maryland. I am writing this letter because I want to tell you how I feel about the "religious freedom" laws you have passed in your states.
First of all, Gov. Phil Bryant, denying an LGBTQ person service based on your religious beliefs is wrong because not everyone has the same beliefs and views, so if you refuse service to a person because of this, you are basically saying that your views are right and the other person's views are wrong and therefore that person should not be given the same liberties and rights as you should, which is unfair.
Also, Gov. Bryant, this country was founded on the basis of religious freedom, but you are taking it too far. Religious freedom means being able to worship, or to not worship, in any way you want to. It does not mean that you get to deny service to a person because of your beliefs.
People have used the "religious freedom" excuse to deny rights to women, Black people, disabled people and other marginalized groups, but they are wrong because the Bible says to treat others the way you would want to be treated, to help the poor and the widowed and to love your neighbor as yourself.
Gov. Pat McCrory, transgender people already face enough difficulties from society. Please do not add any more. By signing HB2 into law, you have only made life more difficult for them by restricting their right to use the bathroom they feel most comfortable using. What is a person supposed to do if they need to use the restroom? Hold it until they get home? That would be unhealthy and would strip the person of their dignity. Transgender women are real women, and transgender men are real men, and there are people who identify as neither gender or both genders as well, so this law would really affect these people too.
Also, Gov. McCrory, banning protections for LGBTQ people is not right because as a whole, LGBTQ people already face a lot of prejudice and bigotry from other people, so we need protections to ensure that we are given the same freedoms and rights as straight, cisgender people.
Furthermore, being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning is not a disorder, a choice or a sin. It is simply how some people are. Nobody knows why some people are LGBTQ, but nevertheless, it is wrong to discriminate against somebody because they are different from you.
I hope you take all this into consideration and repeal these laws.
Sincerely,
Kristy Young
My name is Kristy Young, and I am a Black, Autistic lesbian from Maryland. I am writing this letter because I want to tell you how I feel about the "religious freedom" laws you have passed in your states.
First of all, Gov. Phil Bryant, denying an LGBTQ person service based on your religious beliefs is wrong because not everyone has the same beliefs and views, so if you refuse service to a person because of this, you are basically saying that your views are right and the other person's views are wrong and therefore that person should not be given the same liberties and rights as you should, which is unfair.
Also, Gov. Bryant, this country was founded on the basis of religious freedom, but you are taking it too far. Religious freedom means being able to worship, or to not worship, in any way you want to. It does not mean that you get to deny service to a person because of your beliefs.
People have used the "religious freedom" excuse to deny rights to women, Black people, disabled people and other marginalized groups, but they are wrong because the Bible says to treat others the way you would want to be treated, to help the poor and the widowed and to love your neighbor as yourself.
Gov. Pat McCrory, transgender people already face enough difficulties from society. Please do not add any more. By signing HB2 into law, you have only made life more difficult for them by restricting their right to use the bathroom they feel most comfortable using. What is a person supposed to do if they need to use the restroom? Hold it until they get home? That would be unhealthy and would strip the person of their dignity. Transgender women are real women, and transgender men are real men, and there are people who identify as neither gender or both genders as well, so this law would really affect these people too.
Also, Gov. McCrory, banning protections for LGBTQ people is not right because as a whole, LGBTQ people already face a lot of prejudice and bigotry from other people, so we need protections to ensure that we are given the same freedoms and rights as straight, cisgender people.
Furthermore, being lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer or questioning is not a disorder, a choice or a sin. It is simply how some people are. Nobody knows why some people are LGBTQ, but nevertheless, it is wrong to discriminate against somebody because they are different from you.
I hope you take all this into consideration and repeal these laws.
Sincerely,
Kristy Young
Friday, April 1, 2016
Autism Acceptance Month
content warning: Autism Speaks, early intervention, ABA, some swearing
Today is April 1st, which means it's the beginning of Autism Acceptance month, but to many it's known as Autism Awareness month. I'd like to change that. Here's why:
Most of the "awareness" that is spread around is dehumanizing, pity-inducing, hateful rhetoric that Autism Speaks and other pro-cure organizations perpetuate. They see us as tragedies, broken, missing and lesser than neurotypical people. The reason why they portray us like this is because they want to make profits from other people. They don't really care about autistics.
Acceptance, on the other hand, means seeing others as equals, and embracing their autistic traits. This means allowing an autistic person to stim (that is, allowing them to jump, rock heir bodies, flap their hands or anything else that comes naturally to them.), not forcing them to make eye contact (it's very hard for many autistics to make eye contact with others when tallking to them because we have to process auditory and visual stimuli at the same time, which is difficult), and actually listening to an autistic person when they're trying to communicate with you.
When a child is diagnosed with autism at a young age, one of the first things doctors suggests is early intervention. Early intervention often involves "therapies" designed to make autistics indistinguishable from their neurotypical peers. These "therapies" are known as applied behavioral analysis, or ABA, and they're very harmful because they not only use exhausting and stressful tactics (such as forcing a child to make eye contact, or they won't get to play with their favorite toy), but they teach the child that their God-given neurology is "bad", and the child begins to feel that way, and as a result, may develop low-self esteem, anxiety and even PTSD from all the stress.
I am speaking this from experience. I was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old and I was placed in early intervention. I was placed in special education all my life, from preschool all the way through 12th grade, and I've had some shitty things done to me there. I developed low self-esteem, and PTSD as a result, but God helped me get through it, and now I'm speaking out so people will be more accepting of autistics.
If you truly want to support autistics, wear red to show your support. Don't light it up blue! Blue is the color of Autism Speaks, which supports early intervention and ABA.
Support organizations that truly have autistics' best interests at heart, like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. They are run by and for autistics, so you know that they are good advocates for the autistic community.
Also, the Autism Women's Network is a good choice because they are majority autistic-led as well, and they help autistic women and girls.
Nothing About Us Without Us!
Today is April 1st, which means it's the beginning of Autism Acceptance month, but to many it's known as Autism Awareness month. I'd like to change that. Here's why:
Most of the "awareness" that is spread around is dehumanizing, pity-inducing, hateful rhetoric that Autism Speaks and other pro-cure organizations perpetuate. They see us as tragedies, broken, missing and lesser than neurotypical people. The reason why they portray us like this is because they want to make profits from other people. They don't really care about autistics.
Acceptance, on the other hand, means seeing others as equals, and embracing their autistic traits. This means allowing an autistic person to stim (that is, allowing them to jump, rock heir bodies, flap their hands or anything else that comes naturally to them.), not forcing them to make eye contact (it's very hard for many autistics to make eye contact with others when tallking to them because we have to process auditory and visual stimuli at the same time, which is difficult), and actually listening to an autistic person when they're trying to communicate with you.
When a child is diagnosed with autism at a young age, one of the first things doctors suggests is early intervention. Early intervention often involves "therapies" designed to make autistics indistinguishable from their neurotypical peers. These "therapies" are known as applied behavioral analysis, or ABA, and they're very harmful because they not only use exhausting and stressful tactics (such as forcing a child to make eye contact, or they won't get to play with their favorite toy), but they teach the child that their God-given neurology is "bad", and the child begins to feel that way, and as a result, may develop low-self esteem, anxiety and even PTSD from all the stress.
I am speaking this from experience. I was diagnosed with autism at 3 years old and I was placed in early intervention. I was placed in special education all my life, from preschool all the way through 12th grade, and I've had some shitty things done to me there. I developed low self-esteem, and PTSD as a result, but God helped me get through it, and now I'm speaking out so people will be more accepting of autistics.
If you truly want to support autistics, wear red to show your support. Don't light it up blue! Blue is the color of Autism Speaks, which supports early intervention and ABA.
Support organizations that truly have autistics' best interests at heart, like the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. They are run by and for autistics, so you know that they are good advocates for the autistic community.
Also, the Autism Women's Network is a good choice because they are majority autistic-led as well, and they help autistic women and girls.
Nothing About Us Without Us!
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